​Last call for Sunday's Conflict That Carries the Movie workshop! 😊

The two ways romance creates conflict in a romcom

In a lot of genres, the source of conflict is obvious. Someone wants to kill your protagonist. Someone wants to conquer the kingdom. Someone wants to steal the diamonds.

But in a romcom, you often have two people who, deep down, would be genuinely happy together — so what, exactly, is stopping them?

The answer depends on which of two patterns you're working with. And once you know which one you're writing, many of your other structural decisions start falling into place.

Here's the question I'd encourage you to ask before you outline a single scene:

Is the romance the thing your protagonist is trying to achieve, or is it the thing that complicates what they're trying to achieve?

Most romcoms fall into one of two basic patterns, and while both types ultimately lead to roughly the same destination — two people choosing love — the way they generate conflict in the middle is completely different.

Let's look at each one.

1. Romance-Forward: the romance is the goal

In this type of romcom, the characters want to be together, or at least one character wants a romantic relationship with the other.

In other words, the romance itself is the goal that the story is built on.

Think Notting Hill, My Best Friend's Wedding, Crazy Rich Asians, Fools Rush In, 500 Days of Summer, or Office Romance.

The conflict comes from whatever is keeping them apart.

And keeping the lovers apart sounds simple, but it can actually be difficult to pull off convincingly in our modern times. In past decades, things like disapproving families, class divides, or the fact that divorce was scandalous or unavailable could give couples real, external reasons they couldn't just be together.

But two consenting adults in a modern setting can, generally speaking, just decide to date. So when you're writing Romance-Forward, you might have to work a little harder to create a barrier that feels real, and not manufactured.

The central question in this type is essentially:

Can these two people overcome whatever is standing between them and a relationship?

Maybe they're already committed to someone else. Maybe their lives are pulling them in different directions.

Maybe they have fundamentally different ideas about what they want.

Maybe there's a policy or social constraint that prevents them from acting on their feelings.

Whatever it is, the obstacle to the romance becomes the engine of the story.

Case study: Notting Hill

In Notting Hill, the protagonist’s goal is to pursue a romantic relationship with the woman he’s just met. And — good news! — she wants to be with him too. But she just happens to be the world’s biggest movie star. Her fame and the expectations placed on her stand in the way of them being together.

In a Romance-Forward romcom, the conflict exists because the characters want to be together. Take away the desire for a relationship, and you've taken away the story's central problem.

Which brings us to the other common way a romcom can work…

2. Romance-Sideways: the romance complicates the goal

In a Romance-Sideways story, the characters aren't initially trying to fall in love with each other. They're pursuing something else entirely: a green card, a business deal, a place to stay, a promotion, maybe even some other romantic partner.

And the romance sneaks in as a threat to the thing they were originally trying to achieve. An inconvenient complication that shows up while they're busy pursuing that other goal.

Think 27 Dresses, How to Lose A Guy in 10 Days, Sweet Home Alabama, The Proposal, Set It Up, or While You Were Sleeping.

In this type of romcom, the central question that results is:

Can they accomplish what they want without their inconvenient romantic feelings getting in the way?

Your challenge in a Romance-Sideways romcom is to give them something they desperately want that becomes more difficult because they're falling for each other.

Maybe being together would jeopardize their career.

Maybe one person has a professional goal that requires them to betray the other.

Maybe admitting their feelings would ruin a carefully constructed plan.

The romance itself becomes the source of conflict.

Case study: The Proposal

In The Proposal, Margaret learns she’s going to be deported back to Canada, so she convinces her long-suffering assistant, Andrew, to marry her for the Green Card. He reluctantly agrees, but they must maintain their ruse at his family’s weekend gathering before everything will be made official.

As the weekend wears on, Margaret and Andrew find themselves warming up to each other for real, which complicates things because now she's duped his entire family — people who've so openly accepted her into their fold.

Margaret realizes she doesn’t want to fool these kind, generous people. And she's really starting to care about Andrew. If she forces him to go through with the sham wedding so she can stay in New York, she'll be taking him away from his family — and standing between him and the possibility of real love with the hometown sweetheart he left behind.

These new feelings and resulting attacks of conscience threaten to ruin Margaret’s chances of marrying Andrew, getting her Green Card, and staying in New York in the career she’s dedicated her entire life to.

Notice the difference?

In the first type, something else is getting in the way of the romance.

In the second, the romance is getting in the way of something else.

That's a small distinction, but it can make a huge difference when you're trying to figure out what happens in the middle of your screenplay.

Both roads lead to the same surrender

No matter which romcom type you're writing, they almost always end the same way, structurally speaking. Both types eventually arrive at the same fundamental choice:

Love — or the other thing?

If you're writing Romance-Forward, your protagonist eventually has to decide whether the relationship is worth overcoming whatever has been keeping them apart — the fame, the timing, the practical objection. They choose love over the obstacle.

If you're writing Romance-Sideways, they have to decide whether love matters more than the goal they started the story chasing. Sometimes they even get both — the original goal and the love — but the emotional turn is the same: this matters more than I thought it would.

In most cases in both types, the story ends with a surrender to love.

Love is a choice

The ending of a satisfying romcom isn't just about two people finally getting together. It's about making a choice.

They've spent the movie pursuing something. They've encountered conflict. They've discovered that love makes that pursuit more complicated — or that something else is making love more difficult.

And eventually, they have to decide what matters most.

So if you're writing a romcom and you're struggling to map out the story, start by asking:

Is being together the thing they're trying to achieve — or is it the thing that's getting in the way of what they're trying to achieve?

Once you know the answer, you'll have a much clearer idea of how the story wants to play out — and the eventual choice your protagonist will face.

Until next time,

Naomi